Hi honey! How was your day?

I had a very happy moment at work and I just had to share it with you.  A full circle moment where something I suggested helped improve someone's life.  I'm so very happy she came back and told me about it.  She thanked me and said it has been so fun and her boys are opening up and talking so much more about their day.  I just love it!!

Here's the lowdown.  I was talking in the hallway with a colleague about our kids.  We don't often run into eachother so it's always nice to stop and chat.  We were swapping stories, she has 2 boys and I have 2 girls.  She was mentioning how hard it is to get her kids to talk when they all get home from their days when she asks how their school day was, what did they learn or what did they do, etc....the ususal stuff we all ask one another when we reconnect at the end of the day.  I told her I had experienced the same thing and shared with her what we started doing and how it has changed our dinner time conversation and how it has totally transformed how we all think about our days and how we get excited about dinner and to share with one another. 

This is typical:

Mom/Dad:  How was your day today honey?
Child: Fine
Mom/Dad:  What did you work on today at school?
Child:  The usual....reading, math
Mom/Dad:  What did you learn today?
Child:  I don't remember

The list goes on right?  Like:  Anything special or exciting happen today?  What did you do at recess? Do you have homework?

You get very vague answers right?  I sure did.

So, we now do what we call Highs and Lows.  We each take turns at the table during dinner and we talk about the Highs of our day, the things that were great or went well.  The things that made us happy during the day.  The Lows are the things that maybe weren't so great, maybe we were super tired this morning or ran a little late, maybe something happened at recess or at the office.

Now this stirs up so much more conversation between all of us because it gives us the opportunity to ask more questions about the High or Low that was mentioned.  We can join in on the happiness as well as talk about a Low.  We can work together to get a better perspective or talk about how we can turn it around or what a next step might be.  The girls even ask more questions about our days at the office. I think they are more interested in what we do during our day as well.

We all get excited about dinner now.  So many times the girls get off the bus saying they can't wait to do their Highs and Lows tonight because they have so many things to share.  Wahoo!  Now I know they think about it during the day!  More often than not, they have many more highs than lows and sometimes there are no lows at all!!

This gets all of us in a frame of mind to look for all the good things.  Being grateful for all the little things. This is transformational all on its own.  Seeing all the good things each day opens up the door for many more good things.  You start seeing more and more Highs each day.  Sometimes, I admit, it's hard to find a High when I haven't had a particularly exciting day, a normal one,  but I always come back to being happy we're all together sharing dinner and sitting down as a family.  That's a fabulous High!

We even have a certain seat at the table that each of the girls "calls" before dinner.  Whoever sits in that seat gets to start off the Highs and Lows for the night.  We even do Highs and Lows with my husband when he is travelling.  We put him on speakerphone at night and we go through our days.  When we have dinner with family members the girls often bring up doing our Highs and Lows with them as well. 

It's a very fun tradition that I'm so thankful we've started.  I hope this is something the girls bring to their own families many years down the road.  It makes me so happy that it has worked for someone else.  Please try it.  I promise it will help transform and open your communications with your children as well.  It doesn't matter how old they are.  Let me know how it works for you!!  I'd love to hear about it!

Blessings,

Christina