Calling BS on myself!!

 "I see you've been eating whatever you want this summer." ~Christina’s clothes 

You guys know that I overshare sometimes (serious apologies…sorta), but I like to keep it real and I believe in sharing it all, the good, the bad and the ugly not just the highlight reels. I do this because I know if I'm struggling with something, there is someone else out there that is struggling too and they need to know they are not alone in this. I've had plenty of struggles and challenges in my life, and what I've learned is that these struggles and challenges are what makes us stronger, it's where we grow, it’s where we learn who we are and it's where we learn to appreciate the process and the success that goes along with it.  Your health & fitness is no different. 

Here’s the real honest deal:  I’ve gained 15 pounds that I’ve been strategically trying to hide all summer long and hiding is such hard work you guys, physically, but mostly emotionally.  Yes, it’s been a fabulous and fun summer that I have fully enjoyed with my family and friends.  Traveling, vacation, late nights, bbq’s and patio time, boating, cocktails and wine, time with friends, yadda yadda.  I have absolutely LOVED every single moment of it!!  

However it’s time for the shenanigans to stop. You know them: exercising but not really (not pushing hard, choosing “easier” workouts but “work out” was checked off my to do list), NOT following my meal plan (start out amazing in the morning but then end the night looking 4 months pregnant because of carb overload) and the return of the nightly glass (no, let’s be real, 2 glasses) of wine. 

It’s absolutely not just about my pant size or a number on the scale. However, these are my alarms that go off when I know things have gotten way too far off track. I'm sharing this because honestly, I feel like SH*T (sorry for cussing).  My energy is at the bottom of the barrel, my moods are a bit of a roller coaster, my strength and my cardio workouts are truly suffering, and my clothes are getting too tight!!  This has got to stop because I have some super cute fall pants that I must get this bootay into!  Most importantly though, my mindset is off.  Not having clothes fit or a number on the scale doesn't matter as much as my mindset.  Not feeling good about myself, not feeling proud, knowing that I'm not taking good care of me is a sad feeling.  I don't like feeling like this.  I like being more self-confident and happy and just rockin and rollin through life feeling fabulous!  I want that Christina back!

Why am I oversharing with you?  Because moments like this, used to make me feel so disappointed in myself, sad and depressed and wanting to throw my hands up in the air and ask “WHY am I bothering?  It’s so much work and what for?”  We want INSTANT gratification and when we don't get it, we think those icky, negative, defeating thoughts to ourselves.

And then, if it’s not enough to feel bad about myself, I decide to just go eat whatever I want “just for today” and I’ll start again tomorrow with a better attitude or I decide a glass of wine will help me feel better.  Either way I get in a funk and feel guilty and horrible because I KNOW I can do this, I’ve done it before, I have the full love and support of my hubby and family and I have all of the tools needed to accomplish it, I just need to USE THEM. It's no one's fault but my own and I'm OWNING MY OWN BS TODAY!

If any of this resonates with you, I want you to know you're absolutely not alone. We all have those times in life where we seem to take a step or two forward and then a giant leap back. I know….I’ve been living it this summer.

For me, it stops TODAY. Right now!  Here's my accountability picture....my never, ever again....I know, I'm still hiding from you.  See that smile.  Yeah, no.  Not a happy camper.  Still some shame there... I'm saving the whole pics for a freaking awesome after pic!! 

With all of this long winded post being said (thank you if you actually read this all and have gotten to the end), whether you have started with me before, are wanting to start or don't know where to start.  If you are sitting, watching and waiting to see how this all unfolds, I just want you to know, if you need help, I'm ALWAYS here for you.  I haven't given up on myself and I'd never give up on you....we are in this thing called LIFE together to lift each other up and help one another to be the best versions of ourselves that we are capable of becoming!  

If you read this and are ready to take back your life and find yourself again let me know!  I'm ready to help you whenever you're ready!!  Find me on Facebook or send me an email.  I'd love to chat with you!

~Christina

Who am I and why am I writing this blog?

Boy am I nervous.  I have never done anything like this before.  I read a zillion blogs and finally decided to branch out and do one myself.  So this is the chatter in my mind that has tried stopping me from doing this:

• Who's going to read this and why would they care what I have to say?
• What authority or expertise do I have that gives this blog oomph?
• Who do I think I am?

Well, I don't have the answer to any of these questions.  I'm writing to write, I'm writing for me and if any one ever looks at this blog, besides my husband and my BFF's that are required to do so, I will LOVE that!

I'm not an expert, officially....however I'm the expert of my life and I want to share my journey with you.

Okay, so you want to know who I am and what I'm about right?  My name is Christina.  I'm on my last few months of my 30's, about to embark on the big 4-0.  I'm actually a bit excited about this.  I have a feeling it's going to be my best decade. 

I'm a wife.  I've been married to my fabulous hubby for almost 17 years now. We are high school sweethearts and have been together since I was 16 years old, so that makes it 23 years total!  I have some good experience in the relationship department. We have an amazing marriage and, if he allows me to, I will share more info about him in later posts. We've made a love-filled life.  It hasn't been without our personal tests and problems, but we have weathered the storms and created what we have today from the hard lessons we learned.

I'm a mother of 2 beautiful girls ages 8 and 6.  They fill our life with more than I could ever imagine.  Being a mom isn't always easy but it's definitely worth it!  I could fill this blog with just the daily antics of my girls and how I attempt to deal with it all.

I work full-time as an Executive Assistant.  I'm obviously really big on long-term commitments because I've worked at this job for 22 years!  I'm blessed beyond belief to work with 2 colleagues who share a similar spiritual path as me and we help one another and learn from each other.  In fact, we have decided to try out a meditation class together this month.  The first time for all 3 of us.  I also must credit one of them for the name of this blog.  We had a conversation about all our lists and moving beyond them and it just came to me.

So what will I be blogging about?  My life, my daily happenings, my random thoughts, ideas, ramblings.  Things that pop into my head.  I also love to cook and bake and among all my life enrichment/spiritual blogs I peruse, I also read a ton of food blogs.  I experiment, copy and make my own recipes.  You'll be seeing pictures and recipes too.

I'm a spiritual student, totally addicted to everything self-help. There are so many blogs and books that have inspired me and taught me lessons.  I'm a huge believer in the Law of Attraction and A Course in Miracles. A fan of Louise Hay, Marianne Williamson, Gabrielle Bernstein, Cora Poage, Wayne Dyer, Doreen Virtue, Oprah Winfrey and many others.

I have the best friends I could ever ask for!!  So much love and support come from them that I feel so supported and blessed to be in their lives.  I know I will be writing so much more about all of them if they are comfortable with that.  We have a ton of fun together and the best thing is that we all live in the same neighborhood and our husbands are just as close as we are.  It's amazing!!

I'm just your normal, mom next door trying to live my best life every day. Some days it's fabulous and somedays it's hard.  Some days my girls throw fits, I've won many "worst mother of the year" awards, but in the end the kisses and loves I get each morning and each night are all that matters.  We're all together, happy, healthy and that's my best blessing in the world.

I'm opening up, putting myself out there for the world to see.  I may surprise friends and family with some of my thoughts and ramblings, but I need to be me and share my light. Those that love me always will.  No matter what, I'm always a student.  Always learning, growing, making changes and trying new ideas and concepts.  I'll share all of this with you.

Thank you for reading my very first, and very long (sorry) blog posting!! I'm excited to share and interact with you!